I Tried My Hardest To Like This Movie. I Really Did.
Objectively, The Incredibles II is probably a cute, hilarious, and all around a solid superhero movie. All of the reviews are positive. Sean thoroughly enjoyed it. Everyone in the theater left delighted and thrilled with their decision to see The Incredibles II. Everyone but me. Recently, I’ve come to terms that the real world has slowly stripped away my happy-go-lucky side, and, to put it nicely, left only a full blown contrarian and a 1st team All-Pro skeptic. To put it less nicely, a cynical a**hole. From this day forward, I’m becoming a new man. This blog, acting as a combination of my diary, a therapist, and a punching bag will turn my gloomy outlook into rainbows and sunshine1! Let’s see how that goes…
First a few quick trailer takes:
Bumblebee — Finally! They’re giving the people what they want. A Transformers movie with John Cena and Hailee Steinfeld!
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation — This movie takes place on a cruise? Ew. When it comes to cruises, David Foster Wallace said it best: A supposedly fun thing I’ll never do again.
How to Train Your Dragon 3 — For the third time, clicker training proves ineffective on dragons.
Ant-Man and the Wasp — He’s big. Then he’s small. He’s Biggie Smalls.
The Grinch — New strategy: Grinch sneaks around Whoville and converts all the kids to Jehova’s Witnesses.
Small Foot— Humans are friends, not food.
For avid fans of Pixar, The Incredibles is a favorite. Personally, I don’t have much recollection of the movie. The Incredibles premiered in 2004, so it’s been close to 14 years since I’ve seen it. Because of its universal adoration, I’m very much afraid of the ridicule I’d receive for not appreciating such a seminal work from my generation’s childhood. To help hide my apathy towards The Incredibles, I created a simple, two step game plan for whenever someone mentions its brilliance in conversation: I first diligently nod my head in agreement, and then I decisively chime in with how much better of a Pixar movie The Incredibles is than Cars 22. I’m not ready to admit how often in life I defer to the “agree, then pivot” strategy, but with regards to The Incredibles, its 100%. Leading up to The Incredibles 2, I entertained the idea of re-watching the original. It seemed like the logical move in preparation for both seeing sequel and for writing this review. Naturally, I didn’t3.
Playing the part of the ignorant movie-goer, I slowly picked up on the major features of The Incredibles universe I should’ve already known from the original:
1. Superheroes have been outlawed and deemed vigilantes.
2. There are still supervillains running around robbing stuff4.
3. Everyone just needs to let the authorities handle it.
All in all, pretty simple. It’s the classic “Superheroes, are we better off without them?” storyline. As the movie progressed, I started to get bored. My mind couldn’t stay focused on the movie. I looked over at Sean sipping his large soda. I couldn’t help but wonder where he’s putting all that liquid? Not only was he drinking a large soda, but he also got a refill! I tried countless times to refocus on the movie. It wasn’t happening. What’s wrong with me? Eventually the ending credits rolled, and I felt nothing5. I knew exactly what I should be feeling: What a great sequel! It definitely holds up to the first one!! Instead, my thoughts sounded more like a Bill Belichick press conference:
Anybody – “Shammy, how was the movie?”
Me – “The cast and crew did their job.”
Anybody – “Shammy, what’s your favorite scene?”
Me – “We’re on to Ant-Man and the Wasp.”
At first, I didn’t understand the source of my indifference. All signs pointed towards an uplifting, pleasant experience. I knew for certain that there must be some fault with the movie. For obvious reasons, it couldn’t be me. I have impeccable taste. It took some time, but after auditing the magnitude of all my feels throughout the movie, the culprit became quite clear. I was a victim of vigilante fatigue!
It’s difficult to anticipate which characters or plot lines will eventually reach overkill status. Being the cynic, my reactions to movies tend to be a great early indicator for when a franchise or genre is about to head off of a cliff. In recent years, we’ve had three Spiderman reboots, a couple different Batmans and Supermans, and every flavor of intergalactic being keen on intergalactic domination. The repetition is difficult to miss. Unfortunately for The Incredibles franchise, it’s based off of the only superhero story line no one cares: Do we need superheroes? Should they be trusted? Should these vigilantes be thrown in jail?. Even saying the word “vigilante” has run its course. It’s up there with “optics”, “carbon footprint”, and “deep dive” among words and phrases society needs to stop using for at least ten years.
Blaming Marvel for the flood of vigilante and anti-hero story lines is extremely easy, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do! Some form of superhero backlash appears in almost every Marvel movie. In Iron Man 2, the government doesn’t believe Tony Stark should be trusted with the Iron Man suit. In The Avengers, the government is secretly building mega weapons, just in case Thor turns out to be evil. In Captain America: Civil War, the government wants strict oversight over where the Avengers get involved. After a decade of Marvel movies, even I can conclude with some certainty, the government does not like superheroes! They’re just a bunch of freaks running around in idiotic masks and shouldn’t be trusted to police the world. Understood. Let’s move on to anything else.
Let it be known that even though I didn’t care much for the plot of the movie, I did appreciate some of it. I did enjoy the team’s approach in trying to reincorporate superheroes back into society. It played out like a solid strategic marketing campaign. Start with the most likable superhero (Elastigirl), throw in a few lay-up rescues for positive optics6, and work that Gallop poll and superhero approval rating into legislative success. Exactly how democracy should work!
It is a shame that The Incredibles 2 was released at a time a new superhero movie premieres almost monthly. We are nearing the point where its just a different group of heroes doing the same thing another group did except while wearing different masks and with varying degrees of CGI believability. If The Incredibles 2 came out eight years prior, I totally would’ve enjoyed it7. Marvel hadn’t already made a million movies eight years ago. But instead, Pixar released The Incredibles 2 in 2018.
VERDICT: The Incredibles 2 BLOWS.
I did try repeating to myself in front of a mirror that “The Incredibles 2 does not blow that much” over and over again. Unfortunately, I still think it blows. I also don’t think I’m doing positive affirmations correctly.
- Or at least partly cloudy with a chance of a passing shower
- This will always steer the discussion towards why multiple Cars movies even exist. Cars is supposedly trash. To be honest, I don’t really remember what happens in Cars either.
- If I’m already fairly certain it’s better than Cars 2, then what else do I really need to know?
- Villains gonna vill – Cisco, The Flash
- But gratitude to the director who decided that this movie should only be 1hr 55m and not a minute longer
- Dammit. Bad Shammy!
- Look at me being positive!
