ATTENTION: THE GOLDEN GLOBES BLOW
Now I realize that this is going to come off as an obnoxious post from the saltiest human alive, especially when you consider that my previous post was a proclamation of love towards A Star is Born, but the Golden Globes might be the dumbest awards show on the planet.1
First off, congrats to all the winners! You won a Golden Globe! In most circles, this is considered quite the accomplishment. I, on the other hand, have decided that this means almost nothing. This is an awards show that couldn’t decide whether or not to reward television or film, so they said screw it, let’s do both! If we have an awards show that is unreasonably long with too many categories, it will certainly be better than the Emmys and the Oscars combined, right? Wrong. When a movie trailer comes on screen, you never see “Golden Globe nominee, Leonardo DiCaprio,” you see “OSCAR WINNER, LEO.” It’s not promoted, so it might as well be the People’s Choice Awards.
Speaking of complete indecision at the Globes, let’s talk about this multiple film category nonsense. I’ve always thought it was odd that they separate the film nominations into Comedy/Musical and Drama, but for the most part, I haven’t had an issue with it. When you look into this years nominees though… WTF? Vice2, somehow landed in the Comedy/Musical section. There’s no music, so not a musical. I laughed a dozen times, so now it’s a comedy?? No. It’s a drama. Too bad it now has to go up against the actual musicals nominated this year, right? Wrong. Bohemian Rhapsody and A Star is Born, both clear cut musicals, made it into the drama section. At this point, does it even matter who wins? Probably not.
But it DOES matter who wins! Now I didn’t see every movie nominated, but look, it doesn’t matter because I saw the one that matters. I saw A Star is Born. Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper, and the movie itself were all deserving of awards. I said months ago that they would clean up at the Oscars, and despite going 0-3 at the Globes, I still believe those three sweep at the Oscars. I’m sure Glenn Close and Rami Malek were also deserving, but Bohemian Rhapsody? Give me a break.
LOOK AT THAT. Critics are not the end-all decision makers of movies. They aren’t always right.3 Just look at all of those movies, at least one critic didn’t like one of these Golden Globe nominated movies. BUT 38% DIDN’T LIKE THE DAMN MOVIE THAT WON. That’s insane! There’s no disputing that. It’s just not that good of a movie. Boo these people. Boo them to hell for being such crappy voters.
VERDICT: IT BLOWS.
That’s it. I’m done. Reviews and a 2018 recap are right around the corner. Sorry we’re lazy twenty-somethings!!
